each day is new

  Life is fleeting…..  Today your here, tomorrow gone.  A memory left, a family alone.  Hearts broken, peace be still  Dreams lost, hope unfilled.  A fight that was fought,  memories made,  Hope instilled Hope betrayed Life is fleeting,  then it’s gone…  Hold them close,  Hold them strong. Tomorrow is not promised  Today is here.. Life is short  Time is near A vapor some say Life today Here, then gone…  Vanishing before our eyes Like a song….  Strong, soft, weak  The time is near,  The time is now….  Life is fleeting  You wonder how… Where did it go  Why….  But life is fleeting  then gone Like a vapor, a song.. Time not promised. The present is here Love them now,  Hold them dear.

What do we all think a mom should be ? Strong? Faithful, Loyal, Wise, Hardworking, of course loving, steadfast, helpful... I could go on and on..... My mom, though not perfect was to me a great mom. A Strong Woman: When she went into the hospital in February  for her gallbladder, we all joked that she was the healthiest sick person we know. Though she had been struggling with COPD for about 8 years she never had to be hospitalized for it and when asked about hospitalizations we had to say well it was when she had her hysterectomy like 20 years ago. This was after birthing 6 kids and helping to raise  her sisters too. One being like a sister to me as she lived with us when her mom died. A Woman of Faith: She wasn't perfect, and she wasn't always in church, but through her love for others it was evident. My aunt told me a story of how she took them to church when they were younger and she was the big sister. She had God's word in her heart and she did her best to live i...

Grief is hard.  It affects people in all different ways. My mom passed last Monday morning early 3/23/20 and since that day I have cried just about every day. I have heard the expression of grief and mourning felt deep in your stomach and I have cried with such force that I can feel the muscles in my stomach stretch. I have been easy to cry and or sensitive this whole week while  mourning and thinking of a lot of things, her life, her death, her last few days, my choices, her care, my care for her and the list goes on. I go to sleep thinking of her and wake up thinking of her. I see a movie, a flower, a rainbow a bird, I think of her. Many things remind me of her and her memory is still so fresh. I re live those last few days with her,  those last hours. I embrace it. So why do I embrace grief? To me it is honoring my mom.  Not letting her memory die is honoring and important to me. They say that people live on in our hearts, minds and memories. Yes,...

I can remember clearly the striving..... the oppression, I can remember clearly the addiction, the weekends filled with alcohol, drugs, sitting around a fire..... Was it depression? Was it addiction? Or is it this recent genetic defect that I have recently learned about with in our genetic make up?  What is this generational curse that embodies us? Now, looking back I think my dad, my mom too and most of my siblings all were self medicating with whatever they could find to dull the hurt of the world all around them. Though they are my memories,  now,  I look back and feel like whatever they are-  they are mine. Memories of my dad, my family,  those however painful at times were also fun times too. I could have easily stepped around the corner, smoked weed, drank alcohol or any of it, but I didn't want to repeat the curse, I wanted to be different. I wanted more out of life. We did not ask for this room or this music, we were invited in.  Th...

Recently I was reading some struggles from a Foster Mom.  I cannot imagine taking care of a sick child day in and day out, but I have taken care and help raise children that were not biologically mine and also have raised children that are biologically mine. I must say that both are equally hard because being responsible for another human being is heavy. It's hard, it's real and great yet hard and heavy.  Being a parent is rewarding on all fronts but also a very serious responsibility. I have made mistakes. I have said things, done things, and messed up at parenting on many levels, but as I get older I remind myself that I am only human and to be human is to Err....if you are trying, if you are living - well you are most likely apt to make a mistake. A mother's love, and a mother's heart is always such a special thing. When I say mother, you know who I am talking to;  whether you have biologically birthed a child or you are a foster mom, a mom of an adopted child, ...

Are there times when you just want your dad, or your mom, or anyone to comfort you in your present circumstance. Maybe you just want to ask a question but it's impossible. It's been so many years since I lost my dad. I was in my twenties and felt like such an orphan when he passed.  I had always been so independent -so, not for that reason, but for the reason that my family circle was broken. My family was broken and those memories of him drinking and being rowdy now became the only memories. The piggy back rides, the joking, the fun...... a memory. One memory though that stands out ... even though we were not extremely close,  is the memory of his heart. He had a heart of gold. Countless times as a truck driver he would pick up strays,  not animals...people,  and some would end up at our house. He was a champion for the weak. Now as a young man and even teen he might have been a bit of a bully. He played football and played hard. He was pretty popular at schoo...

In a world full of competition and getting ahead, how do we retain and appreciate morals? Are morals slipping away? Often kids are taught morals in church but studies show more and more people are skipping church or if they are going they find that mega church that will allow them to just go to worship service get a feel good feeling and never connect. What about the children, well even if they are being dropped off in a program, they are getting the same - little connection, little engagement.  Are we teaching them morals at home? There was once a time in this great America that even if the parents did not darken a door of a religious building,  the mom or dad or both would still teach the children a great deal about morals and virtues. Are we doing that now ? As a teacher in adult learning, I am seeing less and less of the virtue of integrity.  We see more and more lapse in decision making and loss of academic integrity than what we would like. Why is this? Is i...