each day is new

 This morning I woke up crying, thinking on the last Christmas with my mom, how she seemed more frail and more tired. It made me cry. I thought how when she was on her "deathbed" and dying how I wished I had crawled into bed with her and hugged her to feel her warmth once again, her love. I have posted about grief in the last few years, my grief. As I know we all grieve differently. I explained how though I have joy in my heart I long for my mom to be here. Though it is selfish of me, I long for her and that chapter of my life to continue and not be over, but it is. My dad, my mom, my brother, now my sister all are no longer in this life. Life is but a vapor then gone, so I remind myself to pour into the ones that I still have. The loved ones that are still with me and don't blink or that will be gone too. Life is short.  I have posted how I found myself wanting to shop for my mom, and finding myself in the pajama section thinking of her. I got all these encouraging words

 I was joking with my niece the other day about the kids keeping their towel that they swim with and re-using it. She joked back and said and you get one towel for the shower all week too.  I am sure I might have said that at some point. Encouraging less waste and holding on to your towel and using it more than once.  Maybe it is unusual in this privileged life we lead.  Yes I said privileged life as we have so much here in America, we waste so much and it's okay that is what we do. But is it really? I recently got to travel and let me tell you we stayed at an AIR BNB which was someone's home and guess how many towels they gave us for a 3 day stay? 1 towel each. Not per day, but for the whole stay. I have stayed with others who also do that. So it isn't uncommon in other countries or in this country to use one towel for a few days.  So I started thinking what else... well in other countries  It isn't uncommon to ride public transportation all over everyday.  A majority

Break the curse they said,  Start a new  but before long  Addiction set in  Depression,  a new view Does Addiction come first  or depression start or is it self medication  of a broken heart? Natural, or man made  It's all the same-  up, down a cycle round  Everyday no choice  to make  It gets you in it's hold  LIFE STOLE but you need it and want it  each day it anchors you down a living decay. And the  Curse is still there  Wings broken, no care Apathy all around.... and you can't get off the ground. a fledgling still  the bottom of the hill. a clouded mind ties that bind Curse not broken  only.......you  cause you decided to self  medicate  decide your own fate.  No matter though  how far you go Hope still remains  to get up  clear up fall seven  eight,get up nine.  Break the curse while there's time.