In memory of Aleisha



I wanted to share this post from facebook that my Aunt had posted, it touched me and I know that it has touched God. It has pleased him to see his child trust him, and have faith in him. You see, we do not have the answers to life, we must only trust in him our heavenly father and he will give you peace to get through this life. HE is our sustainer, our strong tower and our rock !!! He can help you through anything this life throws at you. 

 In Loving memory of my cousin, Aleisha...

 In loving memory of Aleisha 9/12/1986-- Today my Aleisha would have been 26. I grieve more on her birthday than her death date- maybe because she was a gift that God shared with us for a little while and He took her back. Maybe I grieve because there should be cake/ice cream etc or some type of ceremony or remembrance time. Maybe Aleisha’s death date doesn’t hurt as bad because she wasn’t made fo
r this world, her sweet spirit was above anything on this plane of existence. Losing a child is not a natural process of life. I don’t know what to do or how to handle it. I don’t understand the why’s of it but one day I will and until then I’ve learned to accept it, have FAITH and TRUST.

 It hasn’t always been that way though. I didn’t understand why God had allowed this heartache and brokenness in my life –what had I done to deserve this. He must hate my guts after all the repeated loss and heartbreak in my life. He spoke thru his Word to me- Romans 8:35-37 –okay I got that “ you love me so much” Somewhere along the religious path I learned that God punishes his children when we disobey. In my time I have broken almost all of the Ten Commandments, so I must be being punished. This started a new search of what obedient actions could I do so heartache wouldn’t happen again? God answered me with the entire book of Job and Proverbs 3:5-6 –stuff happens/life happens you will never know the reasons because you are not God just TRUST ME he whispered. You are my child-you don’t have to do anything but allow me to be the center of your life. I still fought. How could I surrender and let God take my mourning and Create Joy? He allowed it all and I was not ready to forgive or give in. Like Jeremiah in Lamentations I didn’t hold back in my conversations with HIM -I was mad, REALLY MAD at God. I was becoming- distrustful, sullen, cynical and miserable. I no longer had HOPE. I was separated from my Creator, my Source and the thief was winning the battle. I cried out to Jesus and gave him my grief, my heartache, my brokenness and began trusting. I am once again filled with faith—hope in the absence of things unseen I have hope again because I know God didn’t promise me a life without pain but if I willfully choose Him, He will be there with me. Even today when there are only tears and no birthday cake!
Not only has my Aunt lost this beautiful child, but she also  lost her mom when she was 12, her dad when she was 2, so she knows her share of loss. She is a special person and I thank God she is in my life !! God can and will use her testimony for great things !! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Just One Towel in this Privileged Life.

Image
 I was joking with my niece the other day about the kids keeping their towel that they swim with and re-using it. She joked back and said and you get one towel for the shower all week too.  I am sure I might have said that at some point. Encouraging less waste and holding on to your towel and using it more than once.  Maybe it is unusual in this privileged life we lead.  Yes I said privileged life as we have so much here in America, we waste so much and it's okay that is what we do. But is it really? I recently got to travel and let me tell you we stayed at an AIR BNB which was someone's home and guess how many towels they gave us for a 3 day stay? 1 towel each. Not per day, but for the whole stay. I have stayed with others who also do that. So it isn't uncommon in other countries or in this country to use one towel for a few days.  So I started thinking what else... well in other countries  It isn't uncommon to ride public transportation all over everyday.  A majority
Read more

The garden of life..

As I was doing my devotion this morning, lots of things on my mind and as I was writing my prayers I wrote something like this... As I stumble through the weeds and briers of life dear Lord, please help me see the flowers among all the brush, help me to come out unharmed, unscratched and with the hope only you can give. I began to think how life is like that. Often coming upon obstacles that knock our feet out from under us and how we must go on and do the best we can. Each day IS NEW and we choose how we re-act to all the briers and weeds that try to smother out the sunshine. Hoping that bud underneath will bloom into the beautiful flower it could be.    As I began to pray, I thought about my husband and how he is such a blessing to others. How people want to glean from his happiness, his joy and want to be in his presence because of the positive vibes, good counsel and hope that he has. I am thankful for him and what he stands for!! What a light he has, although he has not always
Read more

What Matters in the end...

Image
I recently was asked to give my testimony. I really do not like doing it because it makes me feel like I am giving a history of my life basically. With all the dysfunction and problems exposed and out in the open. But more importantly than the vulnerability is the fact that I really do not want people to feel sorry for me. The look in their eyes when I give my testimony is something I would really rather not see. I tell myself though by giving my testimony I might help someone else along the way who might be dealing with or have dealt with some of the same things I am. This time though, I did it a little different. I gave God the glory and reminded everyone that my story is really His Story in that he did an amazing work in me. I say that because I remember where he brought me from. Do you remember where he brought you from? I like the scripture "he brought me out of the miry pit" Psalm 40:2. That would have to be my life verse. As I am reminded my life could have went eit
Read more